So you guys probably read my DJ Steve Angello vs Paris Hilton post from a few days ago. Steve was DJing at a popular nightclub in Miami at the Winter Music Conference when Paris Hilton came up and asked him to play Hip Hop.
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This was Steve Angello’s party and on top of that, this was the Winter Music Conference where 500,000 dance music fanatics flock to Miami to hear the newest and best in dance, techno, trance and house music. Steve was in no position to play Hip Hop even if he wanted to. Paris didn’t like this and it resulted in her boyfriend fighting the club doormen outside.
While DJing this past weekend I was faced with a similar situation when a group of drunk girls came into the packed club on a “stagette”. One wanted me to play the new Britney Spears track… I was polite and said that I couldn’t play it. She got angry and said “If you’re not going to play it then I WILL”. She grabbed my headphones and lunged at the CD Decks.
She went for the one dj cd player that was playing out loud so when she put her hand on it to ‘scratch’ the song stopped dead in the club. Silence. Then she hit the next song button and a different song started to play.
Part of becoming a good DJ is that you have to Learn To Dj while getting bad song requests. To avoid horror stories like this I have come up with 10 excuses to avoid DJ requests. Some are hilarious, but all are effective. I’ve tried every one:
1) What was that? What was that? What was that?
Just keep shouting “what… I can’t hear you” and after a few minuets they will walk away. It might take a half an hour…but in the end you’ll win!
2) “Sure, I’ll play that in a minuet.” / “Coming Right Up!!!”
This is my favorite excuse and the favorite excuse of many top DJs.
When agreeing to the requester you give them with a sense of power and satisfaction. They strut away feeling like they run the club, and might even buy you a drink (bonus!).
They’ll go back to their table or to their friends happy and content, and most likely they’ll forget they ever asked you for it. But on the rare occasion they realize you haven’t actually played what they asked for yet, you can just respond, “it’s coming up next” and then keep going as you are. Some Djs prefer the more direct “Coming right up!” line.
Another, perhaps safer option, is to have a girlfriend, friend of retarded monkey take the requests enthusiastically for you thereby rendering you all but innocent!
3) “I’m the opening / warm up DJ”
This line makes it clear that you are intentionally playing music they don’t want to hear so that the DJ after you can come on and play what they want to hear. The best part of this excuse is that it keeps the requester in the club because they will be waiting for the next DJ!
4) “I played it just before you got here”.
When you get a request, immediately ask “how long have you been here?”…then say “Damn…my bad…I played that track just before you got here”….regardless of what time they say they arrived.
This response puts the guilt onto the requester. They think they should have come to the club sooner.
5) ” The guy after me loves that song. He plays it all the time!”
Similar to #2 but this one really screws over the next DJ! 
6) “The manager / promoter won’t let me”
Its always a good option to shift the blame onto someone else (despite the fact that your mommy said not to).
You can even take it a step father and say “you know what….I really love that song too. I wish I could play it!”
This one has backfired on me though because some people will go and find the manager… Then the manager will find me! (not good)
7) “I left it at home!”
DJs are music collectors so people know that we have lots of music. Just say “I love that song but I left it at home tonight. I usually bring it!” Its reasonable and straight to the point.
“My equipment isn’t working properly”
Again, shift the blame whenever possible!
9) “I’ll pay you $100 / $50 / whatever… to play my song!”
If the club is slow and the dance floor is empty anyway, take the money and play it! Its up to you but I always keep a commercial CD with new popular tracks for occasions like these!
10) Fake an injury or sickness.
When people realize that someone else is sick or hurt they forget about their measly little request.
***11) “DON’T YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I’M DJ STEVE ANGELLO BITCH!!!
Learn To DJ and take requests like Steve!
You forgot “Go Fuck Yourself…” Hahaha Just playin.
These are all great. Well done Sean. I’m sure you’ve got a few funny reactions, especially from those bratty 18 year old club girls you have up in Canada.
DJIng for LIFE!!!
think il be using 11 alot
Hey guys….
I just want to say that I really like what Shaun is offering here. It’s great info.
In response to this column that he’s written…I would tend to agree with him in some instances but I have found that in the right instance with a sober person they tend to understand more and more what a DJ’s job is and they understand when you just tell them the truth that their request just doesn’t fit what you are there to play but always offer them up another suggestion…maybe even a remix of the song they are requesting that does fit your set.
I’m finding more and more that people are understanding of this and you don’t need to lie to them….unless they are to drunk to be reasonable. Then just lie!
Sean…good job! Keep it up!
lol I boght a t-shirt which say this dj takes no requests and I resolved this problem!! cheers and well done sean keep it up
HAHAHAH Thats is awesome. A DJ shirt that stops dj requests!
Simply say “I’d love to play (X) but I haven’t got it with me tonight”.
I’d avoid the word “forgot”. The other excuses are quite rude and may annoy punters.
Have a list of songs ready about 75 of them any kind of songs and let them know you will play their song as soon as you finish with that request list. Chances are they will “forget about it” I will just enjoy/dance what you are playing; no biggie.
You can also just create a diversion give them a shut out call up their names they will feel somehow important then play any song that will keep the crowd going crazy and dedicate that song to them almost like they had requested that song; they probably will leave you alone for the rest of the night after having their minute of fame and bragging about how cool that dj was dedicating a song to them bla bla bla you might even get a gig or get booked by them after doing that.
Yo, had loads of instances of this. Some people have good ideas for tune requests and I’ve played what they want on occasions. Some people know their music.
If you’re having an average night (happens to the best of us) then why not try what someone suggests?
If someone is suggesting awful, terrible devil’s d1ckcheese, then tell them that everyone is already dancing, so no point in you changing what’s working out for everyone. They often understand.
The most bizarre ones:
- When you agree to play their tune in a few minutes and they look all proud, then they hear that you’re not playing it immediately and ask you why not. WTF!! A case of “give them an inch, they take a yard”.
- When you kindly agree to play a tune by their fave artist and they come back complaining after hearing it, saying it wasn’t the tune they wanted. WTF!!
- A muppet who thinks he should be DJing who starts telling you how you should plan your night, because he knows all about everything and all the tunage you should be playing. He knows all about it. Really? If he did this clown would be up at the decks himself! F*ck offfffff.
3 ways of getting rid of such douchebags:
1. when they ask for a tune by “David Vendetta” or some other equally bad goat’s piss, ask them which tune exactly. Yes exactly mf. Often they are so dense or drunk they can’t even name a single tune and sidle off in shame.
2. if you see cheesehead supreme coming up to you for the 8th time that night, asking you for yet another black eyed peas tune (puke), put your headphones right on and don’t respond. No eye contact at all. You are concentrating, after all. They always end up going away.
3. If they are really annoying, offer them to DJ. Not by letting them near your decks of course. Say: if you wanna DJ yourself, just ask the promoter. They generally weasel away in shame.